I write this less than anonymous letter to you from the top of Lava Reef Observation Tower. Lava Reef Observation Tower is a building which is one third art gallery, one third storage and one third lookout. I sit at the top of the lookout as I write this, occasionally taking breaks to look out for oncoming friends or enemies. Currently I can see 2 creepers, one of which is humping the backdoor of this building.
There seems to be a lot of humping in Minecraft. Perhaps this is why Notch, high priest of the Minecraft sector, has blessed us with the ability to craft a bed. It is true. With only three blocks of wood and three clumps of sheep's wool, a craft table and a peculiar need to want a craft a bed in the first place, such an item can now come into existence in this world.
The event of a bed item can only be a good thing, if only to dissipate the monster's need to hump, as zombies and spiders do, impale, as skeletons do, and have an angry, green penis monster end it all with a rather explosive finish. Did I mention the skeletons have boners? Well, they do. Lots of them.
Speaking of creepers, why do they explode only when they see me? It may well be that I'm the only resident on this unnamed island, but even if that were true, I'm hardly special. Is it the leather trousers? Well, whatever it is, I am fully aware their seedy liaisons do not begin and end with me.
As of writing, one of the creepers down below is still having a fabulous time humping this building's backdoor which, while I write this with a tone of shameless innuendo, is made of solid wood. The other creeper, meanwhile, has sat its testicle toes between something yellow and circular. I contemplate its face and wonder if its permanent frown is in fact a handlebar moustache.
I have gained much experience with the creeper since writing my last letter to you, dear follower. No, not that sort of experience, but the kind that is learned from encounters of an aggressive nature. As I may have mentioned to you in a previous letter, creepers are silent and deadly, intent on attacking you head on, finishing with an explosion which, presumably they hope, will take you with it.
Should a creeper be destroyed, it may drop a pile of dark grey dust which, according to my inventory, is called gunpowder, but was once called sulphur. If one alternates enough gunpowder with about as much sand on the crafting table, they will be able to produce a TNT block, which is something I intend to continue using for my current above-ground landmark, called 'The Coliseum'.
It was the invention of the sandstone, which is as new as the bed item, that brought me to the decision to create a coliseum for this island. In contrast to the Observation Tower, I wanted to create something large, open and which caters to combat. As much as I've enjoyed chopping trees with my fists, mining for gold, building out of sheep's wool, fishing for compliments, crafting weapons, armour, a compass and a clock, and above all, leading a group of sheep to wear fish shaped earrings, I see no reason why role playing in Minecraft could not extend to being a blood thirsty gladiator as well.
I began building a coliseum by first locating a large pit of sand and then digging my way into it. It turns out you do not need a pick axe for sand, simply using your hands will scoop out blocks of it as if it were as light and detachable as a semi cropped marsh mellow. Despite this, there was still enough sand to generate boredom, which was where the TNT blocks came in. What the power of a TNT block lacks in area, it more than makes up for in depth. Upon exploding, the TNT block managed to remove large portions of sand, revealing a layer of stone that was hidden beneath.
Currently, The Coliseum exists as a large, uneven pit which is almost completely surrounded by torches. I hope that, by the time I get chance to write my next letter to you, dear follower, The Coliseum will be complete, and if it does not prove effective as a gladiator's arena, I will hope for it to at least appeal to those who appreciate an aesthetic nature. But until then, dear follower, keep safe and remember to keep your backdoor closed, especially during night time.
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