Memo to Game

Today's WTF: Curing Inappropriate Sex Faces with the Nintendo DS

Continue reading 'Today's WTF: Curing Inappropriate Sex Face with the Nintendo DS' >>>

WTF: Get Set Boogie

What is it with the quiff head on roller skates in shitty looking, shitty sounding platformer Get Set Boogie? Why is he collecting flashing objects while avoiding enemies like giant lips, enormous booties and women who can kill him with one touch? Is he gay? Is that it?

No, the main character in Get Set Boogie is not gay. Anyone who takes the time to read the story on the start screen will realise that. Granted, the text is a tiny two paragraphs which are easy to miss or ignore or both, however it does provide context on the game and its content.

I'll try not to tell this story by exceeding the number of words the game uses, so I'll be super quick. Boy and Girl go to boogie. Girl's handbag gets damaged. Contents spills all over dance floor. Girl gets pissed and accuses Boy. Girl turns the whole club against Boy. Boy must collect all of Girl's stuff to win back her love. The end.

Older games will know where Get Set Boogie takes inspiration from almost immediately. The game imitates the style of classic platformers Manic Miner and Jet Set Willy, right from the multicoloured 'loading screen' to the Monty Python like 'Game Over'. Anyone who played and enjoyed those games will find some fun to be had here.

Unfortunately, the imitation of style is not perfect. The main character is too tall, making it awkward to jump around at times. Also, the lack of a sound effect (the heroes from the aforementioned games often jumped with a trademark tinny) makes the experience a bit flat.

Get Set Boogie is not perfect but it is playable. Fans of nostalgia will want to check it out.

Play it: (Actually, she neither accuses nor turns anyone against him. But still...)

WTF: Close Range

Those who are not in on the joke regarding The Onion's satirical game Close Range will no doubt be alarmed by its shameless style and graphic content. That said, those who will be offended by Close Range will likely not play video games anyway, which shows why there are so many anti video game individuals who talk as if every game is like this.

And it's the thought that every game is like Close Range which I think is most disturbing. Being a satirical product at birth, Close Range is, of course, more of a piss take than a video game. The main cover shows a head midway through being blown off because that's all it has to show - that's all it WANTS to show. Everything else is as bare as a used wishbone.

Gameplay consists of pressing Spacebar to shoot. There's no aiming. All you need to do is press the spacebar when required. When you're not shooting, you're skipping dialogue boxes, telling the story which in reality is just a series of poor excuses to shoot more faces. The dialogue is funny though. Not two minutes after meeting a mystery woman, she 'dies', to which our hero responds, 'Noooooooooo!!!!! I loved her!!!'. Classic.

A report has suggested that Close Range was submitted for review on the iPhone, a product known for if its strict guidelines, and of course the result was a rejection due to its violence. The company has since re-submitted a 'revised' version, though what exactly has been revised has yet to surface. Has the blood been omitted? Are the guns now water pistols? Have heads been replaced by balloons with funny faces drawn on?

I described Close Range as a satirical game earlier, but the truth is you won't fully appreciate it until you've seen it placed within the context of the video where it was originally shown. The existence of Close Range, as a playable demo on its own website, is a strange one. Does this mean there's a full version in the pipeline? Perhaps the demo's rather 'meaningful' ending can answer that one...

Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face

Play it: [A shame the cutscenes aren't as flashy as they were in the video...]